My drunken exploits

You may surmise from my frequent writings of pouring bourbon and other liquors over things that I eat, that I like to drink a lot. That is not the case at all, I rarely drink. If I do, it is at home or at some one's house, where it is much cheaper than drinking at a restaurant or bar. I do that occasionally, however. For example, I went with my family to Trader Vic's, and I deemed it necessary to have a pina colada while I was there.

When I was in high school and drinking was prevalent amongst my friends, I didn't drink. I think the main reason was that I was afraid. Of what, I don't know, maybe getting in trouble for being underage, or perhaps getting into an accident (this was the heyday of MADD, I remember watching the TV movie made about it, I think Jamie Lee Curtis was in it). It wasn't until after high school that I began dabbling, mainly wine coolers, because I didn't like the taste of alcohol. I was introduced to the screwdriver and fuzzy navel soon enough, and I loved those. I think I had shots exactly once, I don't remember what kind of liquor it was, but I didn't like it.

My 21st birthday rolled around, and I decided (or my friends decided for me) that I would get drunk. If I remember right, I had a mudslide and a kamikaze, and maybe a screwdriver or two. But I was really sozzled, I threw up quite a few times (I had also eaten an entire pizza), and I still have a scar on my right middle finger from burning it with a cigarette I was smoking (I didn't smoke). I passed out around 3 am, and I had the worst case of cottonmouth the next morning. I felt truly awful, and I guess I got it out of my system, because I never did that again to that extent.

Because of this, I have an extremely low tolerance for alcohol. The aforementioned pina colada made me silly for the rest of the night. Sarah and I went to the LoneStar Steakhouse when we were still in NJ, and she drove so I could try the Pecos Peach, which was basically a Slurpee with alcohol in it. I liked the first one so much that I had another, and I was pretty well toasted after that. We ordered dessert, and I got a brownie a la mode, which contained the worst brownie I have ever eaten. Since I was drunk, I brought this to the server's attention, and he brought the manager out. I told the manager how bad the brownie was, and I offered to go into the kitchen and show them how to make brownies, to which he politely declined. Sarah laughs about this incident now, but she probably wasn't then.

Nowadays I don't drink at restaurants because as I mentioned, it's too expensive, but I also don't trust myself to drive, since such a small amount affects me so much. So I limit it to Christmas time, when I make fruitcakes and cookies loaded with alcohol. I also make an egg nog recipe that came from a cousin, we went to their house for New year's a long time ago, and they had this egg nog on their patio, so it was almost like ice cream, and it was delicious. It was also chock full of alcohol (rum, brandy, and bourbon), but I haven't been able to make mine taste the same as theirs, probably due to the fact that I usually buy the cheap stuff, since I use it for cooking. The bottles I buy usually last a few years, so maybe I should upgrade next time.

Cheers!