I hope I'm just tired.

I have been pretty cranky for the past few days, sorry about that. I'm hoping it's just work and not sleeping well that is making me that way. This year I didn't upend my schedule like I did the last two years, which I think is helping a lot, but it's not making the crank unavoidable. I don't think anything can do that, save for quitting my job and devoting myself to a life of leisure. That probably isn't going to happen anytime soon.

Being the manager now is part of it, because I hate being in charge, and I don't see any way out of it at this point. I'm not a born leader, as leaders are, I like to go with the flow I guess. I think being the manager is more stressful than the actual work volume in November and December. I wonder if that's why I'm not sleeping well. I've been having a lot of work-related dreams lately, but they all center around baking and not managing. Who knows.

This Saturday Sarah and I and my sister and her husband are going to Christmas in Odessa. Odessa is a very small town in DE to the north of us. For the past 40-odd years, they get a lot of people in town to decorate their homes (most of which are very old), and they open them to the public. We saw the sign the first time we came to DE in 1997 to scout out living locations, but we didn't make it until last year. It was everything I had built it up to be in those 10 years, and I had a really good time. We stayed overnight on Christmas Eve at Sarah's parents' house last year, and we made donations in all the adults' names instead of giving gifts (her parents did not strictly adhere to this). Aside from my stupid schedule at work, it was one of the best Christmases I've ever had. It came very close to the vibe of Christmas when I was a kid, which I really enjoyed and missed, because most of my family from then has passed away and the rest of us are all over the states. We are doing all these same things this year, so I think it will be even better. I don't really get into the religious side of Christmas; I like the togetherness and the giving part of it, and I try to stay away from the commercial aspect. These days it's hard to avoid.